Tuesday, 13 April 2010

The Gollum Complex

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I have more in common with Gollum than I ever would have liked to imagine. But... am I the only one?


Alright, here's the dealio: (yes, I say that) I was reading through a post by the ever fabulous Tahereh, who never fails to entertain, but also pointed out several very important points for authors (anybody, really) who just feels... hopeless, I guess. I'm not going to outline the post, go read it yourself, it's definitely worth it!
But it got me thinking about how secretly I hold my hopes, desires, dreams in. Not just as an author, as a person as well. I treasure them, hold them closely and pour over them, dedicate time and energy to them, and never - ever - let anyone else see them. Sound familiar? Here's a hint: My Precioussssssssssss.


So, there's the world. Sometimes it's a Sam, sometimes it's a Frodo, sometimes it's both. Sometimes there's pity, or sometimes loathing, but I think mostly it's just bafflement. Who is that person? What made them the way they are? Most everyone decides that they don't want to know.

But some do.

These, readers, can be our friends. They can be our protectors, our teachers, our family, our church members, our classmates. But I think they can also be that person sitting across from us on the bus, or the blogger who we never give comments to because why would they want to read something we have to say? They can be that popular girl, that nerdy guy, that server at starbucks who always gives an extra smile. And maybe they don't care... or maybe they're waiting for us to show a bit of interest in their lives, because, heck, we look busy, and they don't want to bother us.

But... this is a writing blog. How does this affect us as writers?

If you can't trust your readers, who you've never met, and may never meet, how can you possibly make the story what it ought to be? If your story is your precious, it'll turn you into a slithy, slimy, sneaker who hides from the air of honest criticism and the light of genuine love. And yeah, I did borrow slithy from Lewis Carroll, because I love him, and I loved Alice in Wonderland. :)
Which, if you're disgusted by the gollum idea... Here's another approach.

"You've lost your much-ness." - Mad Hatter
Did you notice (if you've seen the movie) that Alice does not deny this? Not then. She looks confused, but doesn't ask, "What do you mean?" No...
"Lost my much-ness, have I?"
And that's what I think we need to do. Find our much-ness. Write it. Dare to live it. I've written blog posts for an ity bit over a month, but I've been posing questions I already had an answer to, even though I wanted other opinions. Well, enough of that. I have real questions, why can't I ask them? I have real thoughts, why can't I share them? I have real hopes, real dreams, and real passions.
I love diet coke.
The smell of mint gum makes me think of my first real boyfriend, and always makes me smile.
I love France.
I hate France.
I'm a Christian.
I don't need to defend that.
I love good books, but...
I hate reading. (GASP)
I want to die in (or by) the ocean.
I sometimes can't finish books because I love them too much.
The most satisfying week of my life was the week I was on Battery Drumline.
I couldn't stay on Drumline because the band was too small, and I was needed as a flute.
I hate the flute.
I love to forgive, but only when I'm apologized to.
I hate to forgive when I'm not apologized to.
But I try to anyway.
And I'd fail...
if not for the grace of God.
I believe in dragons. Honestly.
And I'm never nervous about getting published. I love writing, I will always write, whether or not editors/agents/publishers think I have any selling potential whatsoever.
Lost my much-ness, have I?


Karen said...

I thought I posted one, but I don't see it now. Anyway, this was great! And you have always had your much-ness! (sometimes too- much-ness! =]) lol

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

I love Gollem. In high school I did a short monologue in drama class as him! Awesome.