Saturday, 10 July 2010

No, Really, I Promise I'm a Writer!

In todays episode of Is it a Hobby?, Bethany Yeager faces her deepest fear.
Writing.
(dududuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn)
Where oh where has the sparkle gone? Why is my life grey and why is my writing so sub-par? Why do I avoid blogger, why is Word currently the most unused icon on my desktop?
Is it over?
Was it all a dream?
Am I just... a normal kid?
My WIP is tired. I'm not tired of it, but together we're just slogging. In a month and a half, I've written 7,000 words in it. Yes, you saw that measly number. This past week, my dedication to blogger has been... less than enthusiastic. I haven't devoured the critique my friend Lizzi so wonderfully and generously gave me, I haven't obsessed.
Authors, is this it?
Have the last five years been a dream?
No. I refuse to believe that. I've been a writer. I'll be a writer. I just don't feel like a writer right now.
Have you ever felt this before? How do you deal? How do you get past the inner voice, that doubting little whisper? Not the one that says, "You'll never write anything worthwhile." I know that voice. I can survive that one. But what about this one? "Yeah, sure kid, you got talent. But you don't want to do this forever. It's time to move on, let it go. How many novels do you need to be happy? Aren't you satisfied?"
No, I'm not satisfied. No, I'm not done. I probably never will be. - that's my heart's response, the one I know is true. But my mind is sort of like, 'eh, I'd survive without writing.' But would I?
I love writing. I love English. Sometimes it scares me, because I have something I'm good at. Not great, not spectacular, but good. Solid.
Authors, do you ever feel this? How do you cope?
Possible reasons I feel this way:
A) It's summer. Vacation time. I always relax a bit June-August.
B) It's HOT. 80-90 degrees just inside the apartment (No AC). It's hard to work seriously when you're sweating and miserable, right?
C) I haven't read anything recently. I mean, not anything I want to read. I've read whatever was lying around. I'm out of books, and, what's worse, I'm out of bookstores. English bookstores, anyway. My imagination needs a serious recharge!
D) I'm not a professional author yet. I'm a kid, maybe I'm pushing myself too hard? Or maybe I'm not pushing myself hard enough?
XOXO
Bethany

6 comments:

Jade said...

I felt like this so many times that I can't even count them all. I took me a whole year to write my first ms and in the two years that proceeded it, I didn't finish anything.

About year ago I decided I really, really wanted this (being published) and have worked my butt of every day since. There have still been days where I wonder if I'm just deluding myself but I refuse to give up. Maybe I'm just stubborn but I believe hard work pays off (with a little luck thrown in) so don't give up!

Jemi Fraser said...

I figure it's like riding a roller coaster. There are some wonderful highs, but some scary lows and lots of in betweens as well. Ride it out.

There's no rush, there's no deadline. It's for fun. Enjoy it and let yourself take a break. Summer and humidity are totally legit reasons for slowing down.

Relax, enjoy what you ARE doing, and the urge to write will sneak back up on you when you least expect it. :)

Marsha Sigman said...

All writers suffer from some form of bi-polarism.lol

We have good days and bad ones, they can stretch for weeks so don't worry. But don't you dare give up! Something will hit you from out of the blue and just like that...the creative spark will be back.

Missed Periods said...

I think this happens to everyone; the inspiration seems to vanish. But, it always comes back.It'll probably come back when the temp. is 75 degrees in the house.

Lisa said...

One really great book will bring you back on track.

Don't give up! You'll get bitten by the writing bug again. Probably tomorrow! =)

Mohamed Mughal said...

Hang in there. It'll come when it comes.